jeh

Sunday, August 19 3:10 PM

isn't it tragic that the person you love, doesn't love you but fancies another person and has a friend who loves someone you know but yet loved no one at all.
that sounded a whole lot like nonsense.

this tangled love web that we live in.
darling darling, if only you knew.

we are all but individual units of the cupid's device.

jeh

3:10 PM

the hand

jeh

Tuesday, August 14 11:21 PM

sometimes circumstances can make you feel utterly pathetic like right now. its so bad it stinks. imagine having to live in fear of someone 24/7, someone who has absolute legal power and control over your movement and behaviour. he can make you do the most un-civil and inhumane acts to your own body and you can't report him for it cos it leaves no trace of evidence. and add to it the fact that this higher authority has one sick twisted mind. ARGH. this life sucks. and i clarify that this only, sucks.

when i stand at the guard duty box manning the sentry post, outside the gate, there exists this square forested area of random vegetation and undergrowth. sometimes a large scaly and brown skinned komodo dragon-like reptile lazily crawls it's way out of the jungle and lies flat on the pavement to have a laze in the swithering afternoon sun. and a few weeks back i could even see durians hanging down from atop trees. it then became quite a frequent occurence to have people from all walks of life to stop just outside the camp gates and start picking fruit.

we mounted a parade for that late-coming and inpunctual vietnamese prime minister at the istana yesterday. its bad enough that the whole unit has to scramble 72 men just to look nice and pretty for you, but please at least be punctual when you're being welcomed! damnit we were clutching the sar21 in our right arms and not allowed to move at all for close to 20mins as we got baked in the sweet afternoon orchard road sun. i met the Lee as he was walking together with the Viet PM. we aren't supposed to look at them in the eye but to tilt towards the sky but heck, this isnt the way you treat someone who's mounting a parade and hasn't slept in 24hrs. grrr. and was only informed of it barely a few hours earlier.

anyway our significance to them almost seems congruent to the fleeting moment we appeared on tv. i looked like a mere speck of dust on tv. haha. sometimes its times like these that make you think about who truly are your friends and who's not. for some reason i decided to leave my phone in the cupboard for a few days and not touch it at all. i sent some replies and basically left my inbox there to rot after that. at the end of the week i saw that i still had almost full battery life left.

usually my batt dies by the end of the week.
well i dont know. maybe i must be massively disliked by everyone i know.

jeh

11:21 PM

when i stand at the guard duty box manning the sentry post, outside the gate, there exists this square forested area of random vegetation and undergrowth. it's gazetted as a Protected Area but it's ironic that it seems and looks like noone's protecting it. or might i say, maintaining it. sometimes a large scaly and brown skinned komodo dragon-like reptile lazily crawls it's way out of the jungle and lies flat on the pavement to have a snooze in the swithering afternoon sun. and a few weeks back i could even see durians hanging down from the hill top trees. it then became quite a frequent occurence to have people from all walks of life to stop just outside the camp gates and start picking fruit. this wandering road is quite unique at night too. they say the battalion orderly sergeant sometimes goes out the gate to chase away camping/sleeping/waiting-for-mid-night-surchage cabs to flyy off from this road. i dont understand it but they say it's a private road. or maybe becos it's somehow sort-of mindef property. cos there's this jurisdiction that the area of 100m radius from the camp fence still comes under THE M. that fear striking organisation of green men.

we mounted a parade for that late-coming and inpunctual vietnamese prime minister at the istana yesterday. its bad enough that the whole unit has to scramble 72 men just to look nice and pretty for you, but please at least be punctual when you're being welcomed! damnit we were clutching the sar21 in our right arms and not allowed to move at all for close to 20mins as we got baked in the sweet afternoon orchard road sun. i met the Lee as he was walking together with the Viet PM. we aren't supposed to look at them in the eye but to tilt towards the sky and clouds but heck, this isnt the way you treat someone who's mounting a parade and hasn't slept in 24hrs. grrr. and was only informed of it barely a few hours earlier.

anyway our significance to them almost seems congruent to the fleeting moment we appeared on tv. i looked like a mere speck of dust on the screen. hahaw.

jeh

Monday, August 13 7:05 PM

choice

i think it is quite disturbing to have to tolerate all the huggy-kiss-kiss s*** i see on the mrt everyday. please have some manners and not make out like wild animals can. and spare a thought for the people who take the train 2hrs everyday. its even more revolting especially when the female party involved isn't very 'possitively endowned'. heh. that was a mean post. but it is damn gross to have to tolerate all this on the train when you're barely awake lor.

anyway i've been so damn tired from all the bloodying ns shit i've been getting that i started falling asleep on the train already. its massively unglamourous to be caught sleeping/drooling/sloppin/:) in sucha public place snoring with yr big fat mouth wide open like as if you're catching unknown projectiles falling from the ceiling. haha.

jeh

Friday, August 10 11:40 PM

the machine

okay instead of ironing my no1 and no3, which im procrastinating like shit, im chatting with chatbots. they’re real interesting.

ben.t says:
yeah you chao cheebye.

- Spleak - FOOL them into thinking you’re famous :) type “slang” says:
Yeah.

ben.t says:
oh so you’re one?

- Spleak - FOOL them into thinking you’re famous :) type “slang” says:
No, I’m 22

ben.t says:
… as in, you’re a chao chee bye?

- Spleak - FOOL them into thinking you’re famous :) type “slang” says:
I’m not sure I understand. Could you put it differently?

ben.t says:
… okay, you’re a smelly vagina?

- Spleak - FOOL them into thinking you’re famous :) type “slang” says:
I’m not certain. Where would I have heard about it?

yours truly,
benjamin tay

and no dump garbage, please.

jeh

3:34 PM

oh my Minister's Daughters are HOT with a big fat captial H!(!!!) and its not like as if you simply see this supreme female being while at orchard rd or some other place. I was totally stunned and awestruck at my duty post while Ng Eng Hen's daughter and co. floated past me. you'll be totally overwhelmed by their presence and her. wow. i think i'm in love hahahah. and after she left far away into the darkness i was once again slapped in the face and it eventually dawned upon me that i'm just a mere mortal being dressed in green. damn.

jeh

12:34 PM

labour

no more NDP forever hahahahahahah!!

jeh

Saturday, August 4 2:43 AM

i'm so damn bored. let's talk about my temp posting at Changi Airport.
it's loads fun. you get all sorts of cool looking stuff just to look fierce and 'seh' to mostly tourists. really, once I put on all the equipment i think no one would even recognise me. except for my armband you prob won't even know if i walked past you at the airport. hahar. that's how thick-ly done up we are. its kind of ironic that while the policeman is dressed only in his blue uniform and gun, we have all sorts of nonsense strapped on. like a long black gigantuan torch, a baton, water bottle and all the other funny things they make us carry. totally overkill can. but its fun!

Hotel BMTC
(to the tune of Hotel California)

Down Seletar Expressway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell from the cookhouse,
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a fluorescent light
Tekong Medical Centre
I had to stop for the night

There they stood in the doorway, my OC
And PC as well
I was thinking to myself
This can't be Heaven, this has to be Hell

And they opened the tonner, and they showed me the way
There were Sergeants down that corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Hotel BMTC
Such a garang place (such a garang place),
Such a garang face
Kena confine at the Hotel BMTC
All throughout the year (all throughout the year),
You can find me here

His mind was certainly twisted,
He had a sadistic bent
He had a lot of other PTIs he calls "friends"
Going round the parade square
Sweet summer sweat
Route march to remember,
Route march to forget

So I called up the OO,
I said "Sir, I want to die"
But he said, "We haven't had a suicide here since 1999."
And still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say

Welcome to the Hotel BMTC
FAIBEE-AXE! (FAIBEE-AXE!) (5BX - 5 Basic Exercises, done every morning)
Faibee-axe
Plenty of canteen breaks at BMTC
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Must try their chicken rice

Lizards on the ceiling, houseflies in your eyes
We are all just prisoners here of the Army's device
And in the Specialists' Chambers, they gathered for the feast
They stabbed it with their plastic knives
But they just can't cut the beef

Last thing I remember
I was running for the door
I had to find a passage back to the place I was before
"Relac ah, brudder," said the RP," until you ORD...
"You can book out anytime you like
But you can never leave!"

--contributed by Kampung Chicken
© www.TalkingCock.com 2001. All rights reserved.
(If you're circulating this by email to your friends, please include this attribution. It's only polite, leh!)

jeh