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This sounds so cliched and retarded. But from an artistic point of view the movie Turn Left Turn Right seems quite nice. Despite its typical chick-flick movie appeal about 2 lost sheep who (extraordinarily) live next to eachother but yet never cross paths is a bit.. far-fetched. really. but alas i think that is not the point, and i'm going to spew more garbage here again. i believe that you dont need to be a conformed square 'clubber' to meet the girl whom you love. inafct i seriously doubt that i would find the woman i truly love in a club. that prospect is extremely flawed. i honestly wish people would stop and consider that. i believe that you don't have to (pathetically,) engage the services of a matchmaker to find the one. its like sticking your hand into a bag and marrying the 1st name that pops out from it. i honestly believe i would meet her someday. perhaps light years away.
and i totally cannot believe that i just wrote all that.
anyway although i often set off a tirade of criticism about the green organisation soimetimes i really am very thankful for what i have now. even though i'm not a clerk or driver (which i REALLY wish i was) i'm very glad i was posted to be an MP.. i'll rather have it no where else.. not OCS..not sispec. its hard to describe why i truly am so proud of my vocation. its tough. not because i get to catch people or go raiding but there is something sentimental about the Provost Unit that even OCS cannot beat. i wish i could tell you why.
anyway i just ended the yearly marksmanship evaluation test which everyone has to take every year. its basically a yearly test to see whether you still remember how to even shoot your own rifle. haha. and it's extremely boring. when you're just one out of the 150 odd people waiting in line at the rifle range. we basically stoned there
for one whole day from 7am to around 12am at night and slightly shorter on the 2nd day of the test. and i think i'm getting fat and round from all this ever since training ended. darn. darrrnnn.
jeh
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going to a new unit, taking on shift work, not being able to meet people on weekends, being slapped in the back. argh.
but its a real shocker. i nv expected %^& to remain exactly the same, 2 yrs later. or perhaps %^& is hallucinating and thinking that something somewhere is happening.
heheh. hallucinating.
sometimes when you're strapped to an unappreciative green organisation it makes you think of whether going through the motions is actually worth it. one of my bmt officers once said this: "we came back because we felt that there was something worth defending for this country." That coming from a former American resident (and enlistment day was his 1st time stepping into Singapore) is totally ludicrous. like yeah. I totally believe you.
i'd miss my friends and people here but you could still take a plane and pop on by.
1.5yrs :(
and 2 weeks of your life every year until every sparkle of your youth has fizzled out.
jeh
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when you start forgetting faces and names which just become a blurish cloud
and meeting an old friend on the street and having the (unfortunate) audacity to actually forget his/her name (it actually happened and she was so pissed that she looked like as if she wanted to slap my face haha.)
not too long ago i could write 8 pages worth of b***s*** about any random piece of prose or poem but yet now i seriously haven't got the slightest clue what those emjambled tangle of words would translate to.
you could call it desensitization.
that's worrying. especially when my new job just requires me to stare at a gate all day long.
jeh
12:43 PM--
I was thinking back about a certain event that happened about more than a year ago.
what kind of guy forces his normal female friend to sleep by a certain time? like WTF. wth does it gotta do with him.
go fly kite lah mr posessive kid.
the merchant of death!
hey ho mr macdonald =)
jeh
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i suppose nothing's changed after all this while
a whisper becomes a murmur and it travels all round
there was something i felt worth preserving about this windowflower
but yet it all becomes a lie.
malice, deceit and contempt abound in my secret garden.
jeh
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But neither is mankind simply a tale of whorish sex, evil and sin. a few days ago we were waiting for new instructions from our Sgt so we were simply idling around waiting for new commands. then i remember saying something to one of my campmates that when a person such as efg looks back at his spiral of midnight romps and alcohol, one day you will eventually feel immense regret and remorse abt what you did. when you meet a girl who is so innocent and yet lives her all just for you, you will feel extremely guilty about what you did in the past.
if i were him i def wouldn't be able to live with that tremendous amount of anguish and guilt surrounding me.
yeah lah i know lah. i no life one. thats why always got alot of time to write alot of junk here.
jeh
2:12 AM--
jeh
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“You have been informed that you may be prosecuted for an offence. Do you wish to say anything in answer to the allegation that you have committed the offence? If there is any fact on which you intend to rely in your defence, you are advised to mention it now. If you hold it back till you go to court, your evidence may be less likely to be believed and this may have a bad effect on your case in general. If you wish to mention any fact now, and you would like it written down, this will be done.”.
why why why.
I'm just an RP you know. the prospect of an mc seems quite nice at this moment in time.
jeh
11:29 AM--
what was once an individualistic identity has deteoriated to become simply a face. and a name. and nothing more to that. just a face and a name.
jeh
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I honestly am going to miss grand master PT Kang's training when i'm posted out from the MP training school. his training is bloody painful and excruciating. and he loves playing mind games with us. but to some sadistic extent it is actually fun.
jeh
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so gay.
jeh
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I seriously must say that too many people keep over-estimating and overrating me like i'm a boy genius prodigy. 1. my results aren't star strikingly universe rumbling fantastic. Hello I haven't even heard from any uni yet! 2. my course officer and commanders all (wait correction almost all my coursemates) view me as a (and i quote ah.) a very interesting individual indeed. like hello i'm not a Women's Weekly or Men's Health magazine article?!? am i such an inquisitive subject of attention?!! My officer even thinks that I'm so 'interesting' that he cant think of where to post me to. okay let me explain this one a bit. after my training period with the training school ends, they're going to send us out to all the various branches. Some of us would be sent to the special investigation branch (something like CID) and to the very extreme on the other end, they might send us to manage and run the overseas training camp at Brunei. At least 1 person is going to be thrown there for the rest of his 2yrs. that sounds scary. come to think of it i think i'm one heck of a lucky (: to be an MP. out of like 4000 people in tekong, only 63 of us made it through. like wow. i think you stand a higher chance of going to OCS compared to MP.
oh man i think the green organisation's propaganda is killing me. i'm losing my memory. really. i'm starting to forget people's names and even the bus number to take to go home. anyway since updates are hard to come by nowadays so i'm write somemore cock and bull stories here so at least my brain remains alive and not start rotting from all the useless knowledge they force feed to us like foie gras geese on weekdays. girlfriends seem to be the only damn thing nsmen talk about. and woah. when ms thiang talks 'okay okay lets start retrieving our heads from the ditch right now' i can totally comprehend what she meant. like only almost 1yr later. a certain regular in my camp whose mind is so way down in the ditch its like. stinks. even to my standards. really. okay he may have intended it to be a joke but it does gross you out after a prolonged period of time. argh. even though all you see everyday is guns guns and more 'long barrelled' guns, can we at least maintain a level of decency? afterall there is one female soul who's training together with us at the training school you know. why why why. nevermind. i dont know if i've written this here before but may as well, lah. LAH. harhar. pek har. heheh. whats the use of having a drop dead gorgeous gf when you dont have feelings for her at all. its like you're just infatuated with her face and skin. i mean she doesn't have to be super pretty but you must have some kind of emotion that you feel towards her. besides one day you're gonna be bored of looking at her right. ah well i dont know. feelings arent worth much today.
thoughts to ponder about.
jeh
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jeh