jeh

Friday, November 19 11:52 PM

i sent a letter to carol 1 month ago.
i haven't heard frm her since :(

this carol nonsense is going nowhere. Maybe what jess said is true.
"it's not usual for a girl her age to run away frm a guy she likes. maybe you shld just like another girl."
my perception of myself being "just another schboy crush" gets more real everyday.
030105 is probably one of the last few things i'm gonna do for her.

you may have seen this on my fone before. but i neva told you who wrote it.

My perception of "love" is a tainted one. For one i have never experienced the pleasent real side of it. I have never experienced the woman's touch of a female or her care and concern for her man. I have only had brief spuring moments by my once burning flame of "sorry to hear that", "oh my gosh are you okay" and "i hope you're fine" once made me determined to fight harder only to find out that Mrs Casanova said that with no genuine sincerity but only as an acknowledgement of pity for my suffering, so similar in essence to a civil servant dishing out the usual 'thank you for your suggestion however it is already under consideration' default template reply. Chould it be from thy that i evolved into a skeptical pessimist afraid to meet and commit his same follies again? Perhaps i wished i never met such a person as a so-called "1st girlfriend". Perhaps i should have listened to the boys and played ball instead that sunny sunday morning.

poem 1

Jonathan Bok
2310hrs
27-08-2004

jeh

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