--
A sure sign that i'm very bored now =)
jeh
--
Fuck.
§ëñg Kìá+ ¤ pervertics.cjb.net ¤ «I just know next Thursday Exam» says:
5. Stop your fucking horn shit.
§ëñg Kìá+ ¤ pervertics.cjb.net ¤ «I just know next Thursday Exam» says:
I'm not afraid.
Evidence of Eric's plan to go against God's Wishes!
jeh
12:07 PM--
1. Never ever have a small keychain. No matter how much you love your tiny microscopic keychain. It's not worth it!
2. Never get yourself into a rush. I fractured my foot yesturday just because i was late for my class.
3. Always plan your schedule. Everyone in my class was late, even the teacher!!!
4. Get a carribeaner as a keychain. Now you know what those giant Ah Beng carribeaners were for.
5. Always remember these laws. They can save your life when you have to climb into a phyton infested drain just to get back your keys. Dangerous sia.. Next time i use a
fishing hook to get my key.. If i ever am suay enough to drop it inside again!!
6. It's a good idea to get the help of the SMRT people to help you to get your keys back instead of going in yourself!!
7. Never ever go into the drain yourself. You're courting death!
jeh
11:26 AM--
A guy from the angelic class of 3B had the guts to shout back at our Chem Teacher!
* The chem teacher is a mighty fierce teacher fyi.
Now he's gonna end up with the Chia Brothers again.
Mr Ang is even considering kicking him out of sch
jeh
--
I was in a rush and by accident the whole blardy bunch fell into the drain. Wrose still i couldn't open the slit!
Had to go to the opening and like trek to where i dropped it at..
SCary sia. The MRT Station (The drain was at the station btw) guy said i could've been bitten by a phython there.. Seems that there have been people climbing in there before.
The drain was damn dark.. Had to use a torch.
And is was only like 2m x 1.5m !
Had to bend my back.
Ugh. Not really disgusting la..
It was damn scary. I wuz scared like sekali some snake block our path.. Cos there's only one opening.
Need losta guts and iron-grade blood to even get in there.
jeh
4:32 PM--
The damn kao pei Miss Tang complained to the Chia Brothers ( OM Chia and DM Maran =D ) that our desks are badly vandalized.
Then they came and spot checked our class today. I got a feeling that they're damn free down in the DM's Office. Can come and entertain that crazy kneow teacher.
And i nearly kena for:
1. Not wearing VS socks (What kind of dumb rule is this.. Wanna squeeze my wallet dry with all these dumb rules ah?!)
2 Low Cut Socks (My socks are DAMN low. My father bought the whole pack of 20 for $2 only!)
3. Hopping around the school with slippers on. Even when i was going to the toilet to drop bombs.
Hen hao xiao. Miss Tang's eyes become blind when she teaches in 3B issit?!
Their tables are as dirty and vandalized as charcoal.
Blardy biased Physcis teacher!
She's not even our Form Teacher already kpkb so much.
She just our blardy physcis and CME teacher!
Worse still, we had to clean our tables with THINNER!!
Don't the Chia Brothers know that blardy thinner is flammable and the fumes can damage our brains?!
He think what?! Shindler's List ah?!
Slowly killing us off with Thinner Fumes..
jeh
--
My basket SS teacher saw me walking around with slippers and strongly advised me to wear shoes, even when going to the toilet!!
Basket. What kind of dumb rule is this..
Haiya. Rules are stupid.
Especially Slipper Rules.
jeh
5:16 PM--
I almost got myself into deep **** today just because of my big mouth.
I am aware that there are people around who dispise my existance
! great example is Ragu =)
jeh
--
Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging 14.1or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all purpose utility is of only limited effectiveness. Can you help, please!!
Sincerely, XXX
Dear XXX:
This is a very common problem women complain about, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible.
Further, you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained.
It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed. Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0.
In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0. However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0.
Look in your manual under "Warnings: Divorce/Child Support." You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system.
Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults [GPFs]. This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME".
Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
TECH TIP!
Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\ I APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, to Beer 6.0.
Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to delete. Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip!
Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.
After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.
A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shutdown of the operating system. Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is uninstalled.
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!
Tech Support
jeh
8:06 PM--
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
---Desperate
Dear Desperate:
Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2.
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0.
But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy
Silence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly wave files.
DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband
1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.
Also, running Nagging 5.3 too often can sometimes cause Husband 1.0 to
secretly install Mistress 1.0, which would then require you to run Private Investigator 7.5 utility and possibly even Attorney 9.0, which could lead to a system wide failure and the need to reboot Husband 1.0!
Everybody clear on this now?
--Tech support.
jeh
5:36 PM--
Waited until 4.30+ for my basket Chinese oral that ended up terrible.
I don't know how to pronounce so many words
And if the teacher didn't mention the word 'hair' in the conversation part, i wouldn't have known what the heck he was asking me to talk about!
Later gonna go out to buy a bottle of coke :)
Buying it from the canteen is like burning a petrol bomb in oyur underpants.
Through comprehensive study, i have come up with the following observations:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
$0.50 - 1 cup with ice filled all the way to the heavens - +/- 200ml
Price per 100ml at the canteen = $0.50 / 2 = $0.25
$1.30 - A 1.5 litre bottle with NO ICE - $1.30 for 1500ml
Price per 100ml at NTUC Kallang Bahru = 130cents / 15 = $0.08.6 cents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's a saving of 66% !!!
The canteen is ripping students off!!!
Support the National Trades Union Congress :)
Dun support the pek chek auntie at the canteen!!
jeh
5:25 PM--
So attitude problem..
It'll be nice if i could return to py (there's a possibility!)
But then again i wanna take biology!
ArGh!
jeh
--
jeh
1:24 PM--
jeh
--
Ultra-kneow Miss tang
Crazy bhb sailing i/c
My king of sarcasm SS teacher
My EL teacher :)
jeh
4:13 PM--
Monica is starting to get lazy!
This whole week, we only saw her once!
Wonder what's her excuse now.. She got stuck in the bed?
But gotta say that she teaches maths damn gd
If she comes to school, that is.
Mr Yao is such a thick skin teacher!!
Ask us bring dictionary, in the end never do any zuo wen.
Ask us study for ting xie, in the end no ting xie.
Ask us do the workbook, in the end he only collected in a week later!!
He always names himself as the handsome, gracious and kind teacher!!!!
jeh
--
Jonathan©®™ - PigBrain.cjb.net says: "Going aginst God's Wishes." Truth Hurts - Addictive , Incubus - Water over wine, Shakira says:
So he expect me to waddle around in farkness?!
I caught Jonathan scolding vulgarities!
posted by Eric Lawrence Tan at 8:19 PM
Basket!
I make a small typo error and my great pal tells the whole world in seconds.
If i ask him to pass something to someone, it takes a lifetime!!
Anyway the buttons D and F are so close! Surely erros do clog up once in a while?!!
jeh
--
The lights turned off by themselves again!!!
Basket i'm gonna find out which joker is behind all this.
jeh
7:53 PM--
I know i may get my butt sued to heaven, but i think vs boys are an anti-social lot. They're so ****ing unfriendly! *peace* =)
jeh
7:47 PM--
Dunno through what kind of supernatural powers, Gadaffi knows the doll girl from my A maths class! (The girl that said i looked like a doll)
Great. Now he thinks that i like that girl and i'm very sure he's gonna be a PA system and tell the whole universe abt it.
The lights outside the room i'm in always turn off by themselves!
If I go out and turn them on, abt 30mins later they'll poof! The lights will burn dry.
Dunno which joker everytime like to play with the lights!
It's blardy hell dark when the corridor lights are off!
jeh
--
Don't feel like doing anything today
Stayed in sch today but didn't do much
Finished my E maths and Biology in Sch on Saturday.
Think i finish my Chem now or at home..
AIYA!!!
Still need to study for the #!@^^!! Physcis test!!
Basket!!
nb!!
Sigh
ICQ SMS is down
Cannot go and disturb my frens and buddies :)
jeh
6:47 PM--
Just a normal blue monday.
My FT which is also my A maths teacher was on MC today
So like we were sitting around until recess today
Then today we had our chem practical. Basket. The Titration proccedure is so blardy hell confusing.
I ended up copying my neighbour's recordings.
Our Chemistry teacher is so damn gullible! you give him any Tom, dick or harry reason and he will believe!
No wonder His lesson is also the most boring.
I realized Miss Tang is an incredible nagger.
She can spend our whole CME lesson talking talking and talking abt her life experiences.
Basket. I remembered that there's a basket Physics test tomorrow.
nb!
Church isn't so bad afterall!
Macdonald's also rocks! They give u free applepies if they dun serve u within 1 minute!
Next time u wanna get a free apple pie then just make sure you order something that isn't ready yet (Look at the shelf behind the counter) :D
Save Money!
jeh
6:37 PM--
1. Then i can make a new buddy with that "i dunno how to spell his name thai boy"!
2. It's meaningful! Actually it's isn't that bad
3. Just try try la. Haven't even went there before.
4. I can make a new buddy and even have my 2nd walking dictionary!
Hmm...
Miss eRn|e- is inviting me to:
1. Join the SFOGS Halloween Party at Siloso beach from 25-26 October
2. have a job distributing fliers for $8-14 part-time
Hmm.. Maybe i should consider =)
I'll be damn bored during November and December
jeh
6:32 PM--
1. The buttons are so blardy hell hard to press
2. You need to be a Shaolin Kungfu Master just to type an sms
3. It glows! (Extra radiation!)
4. It's transparent: more light is emitted - My mother and brother both think i have an ah beng phone now.
5. It cost 5 blood-sucking, bomb-dodging and pain-staking dollars just to get one.
6. I had to pay a further $15 to replace my great battery that goes flat whenever someone calls
7. 1 month warranty only!
8. The shop is so ****!$$ ulu! The walls are a miserable dirty yellow in colour.
9. His blardy shop reeks of cigar smoke!
10. His shop looks like it's gonna close down any minute.
jeh
--
After watchihg Shindler's List, it's a good time to reflect on the things you did in the past.
The great one reccomends that you watch that great movie.
However i would reccomend it for the strong lead-stomach type of pple only. Not for Ah Gua types like Kelvin Ang.
It contatins scenes of very graphic cold blooded murder during the German Nazi war against the Jews and does contain nude scenes.
However it's a very meaningful movie.
jeh
2:00 PM--
Tan Seng Kiat Eric: Thanks for e strong support =)
Jasmine Teo: Thanks for answering all my questions :) u're my walking dictionary pal!
Yinjia: Haven't talked to you lately.
Jessica Yeo: My new buddy!! And maybe my 2nd walking dictionary too!
"The i dunno how to spell his name thai boy" : yo! Think i'm going for Thursday service with ya soon
It's fun having buddies!
NB:I'm withdrawing all resources and time from all those BGR relationships and all those garbage FROM EFFECT AS OF TODAY. Which also means that from effect as of today, the 'relation' between the author and Miss Eileen Ong is officially over. I dunno why it took me so long just to realize this. It sux.Waste of my time. Gonna spend more time, resources and brain power on my never-touch-before TYS and making new friends and buddies. Esp my pals Dr Horns, Jasmine and my new pal Jessica Yeo!
I'm also withdrawing support for the Upgrade to 8210 campaign. It's more economical and better market-strategy to retain my 3310, change the battery and cover and use it till it gets spoilt / lost.
jeh
1:56 PM--
Blardy ****ing scary.
You'll probably know why if you're reading this
Cos i most probably already told you
The threat of expulsion and retaination is very real.
It's a reality.
jeh
--
All so damn heavy
Or maybe coz my hand was tired?
But basket e recoil damn strong sia!!
Their cork also damn stiff. (Dun get devil ideas boy! The author is a clean, holy innocent and purified one)
So blardy hard to reload!
Only tried out e guns :)
Didn't have time to ride on e tanks or LSV..
nvm.. I'll get to ride it in 3 yrs :P
jeh
--
jeh
6:34 PM--
So dreadful.
School sucks.
Worse still, there's a physics test on the whole chunk of Thermal Physics tomorrow.
I think i'm gonna get roasted there! Miss Tang i'm all yours to BBQ! Dun forget e sauce!
Wohoo~!!
4 days more before weekend comes again :D
I think i lost the deal for my 8210.
Basket.
$130 was damn cheap. I knew it was too good to be true!
I just thought up of a bright idea!
To beat those horrible canteen queues, I shall buy my lunch the day before and warm it up in the Microwave oven the next day!
Cool huh? =)
Daily Deds:
The Dr Horns of all trades joker of the century, millenium and some say the universe! : I know you're praying that i'm gonna fail my SA2 so i get kicked out of VS and fly bnack to py. I know the devil ideas in your mind boy!
No such thing! The great one is gonna "try" to pass! And with flying colours too!
Jasmine: Hey!! Enjoy ur Physics tution :) You seem to have tuition almost everyday. Eh u know abt Mole Concept (Chemistry)? Can teach me? Pleeeaausee...
Yinjia: Dun be so hot tempered :) Relax! You seem to be very aggitated lately..
jeh
--
Mayeb i join e NKF one
And i'm goona drag The Dr Horns of all trades joker of the cenutry, millenium and some say the universe! along too!
Gotta widen my social circle.
MY life is full of anti-social peeps.
So Sad.
jeh
5:10 PM--
Almost everyone doesn't reply to me!!!
Time ta cool it.
Relax.
Control.
Ying and Yang...
hu qi yun dong~
hu..
xi..
hu..
xi..
jeh
--
I'm Homer, who are you? by Lexi
 Cor blimey, I taste like Tea.I am a subtle flavour, quiet and polite, gentle, almost ambient. My presence in crowds will often go unnoticed. Best not to spill me on your clothes though, I can leave a nasty stain. What Flavour Are You? |
Take the ICQuiz!
The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz
|
||||
|
the internet junk slacker test deems me:
70% slacker |
|
jeh
--
I seem to keep finding fault with those AP people..
Esp. Born Loser and that jap guy.
Argh..
I think, i think too much.
jeh
7:20 PM--
Lousy warranty
Crappy service staff
Exorbidant price$
Smelly shops!
They wanted $140(!!!) AFTER a trade-in with my 3310
MaD!!
May as well sell to one of e fourm pple i know
jeh
--
I forgot to mention my tuition with Jasmine yesturday!
She's really ^$^$@ing smart!!
It's like almost every quesion i asked her she surely know how to do one..
What to do.. She's 36 points higher than me :(
eh Jas.. next time dun go KFC can?
I dun lk e food there~
So yucky and cheat ur $ one
May as well go to e drain eat :P
jeh
5:04 PM--
The 1st half very gd - my form teacher brought her NUS Maths Professor PhD Husband to teach our class :P He damn pro sia.. 1 month earn $25,000! Somemore he got 2 jobs! No wonder my form teacher like damn $$$ !
He got dunno how many degrees
His name card dun even have enough space to show all of em :P
The 2nd half was horrible!!!
I dun mean to insult other pple but this teacher is waaayy too lousy!! She carnt control e class one!
This 99yr old unmarried grandma who looks like she's gonna be in e old folk's home very soon is terrible at teaching A maths.
Wonder why MOE still keeps her as a teacher :P
She said dunno how many millions of "Okays?", "Ding ding" and "MY dear boys"
So digusting :puke:
And i do think there's a few loose nuts and bolts in her head!
She walks like a rattling old car and her head shakes left and right as she walks!
EeeWw!!
Even my grandma is a million times "chioer" than her!!
jeh
1:18 PM--
Eg: 1. I keep on sms pple even when they don't reply
2. I call pple but they dun seem to want to talk to me
3. I myself can feel that i'm becoming very annoying.
jeh
--
My time management is terrible.
I think i won't ever make it into any Administration or Accounts Course in JC or Poly :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday - That's today! Finished half of My E Maths TYS Homework
5 more units to go and i'm done! Maybe i'll finish the whole thing tonite?
Call up my grp members frm the Sexuality Course and prepare for the basket presentation.
Tuesday- Tuition with my buddy!! Probably whole day. May finish my A Maths TYS there too. Reserve Day for E Maths TYS
Wednesday - 0800 – 1230 A Maths Tutorial Lecture
Specially for pple who failed A maths dunring e Mid-yr =) Guess who?
May finish my Physics worksheet and workbook today
Thursday - 0800 – 1030 A Maths Tutorial Lecture
After that gonna find a replacement for my 3310 with the Horns of All Trades Joker of the Cenutry, Millenium and some say the
Universe!
At nite: English Report on Shandler's List , CME wkbook pg 17-29 , Reserve Day for A Maths TYS
Friday - 1300-1500 Chemistry
Chemistry workbook until Excercise 18.0
Saturday - Sunday - Hopefully, I'll finish everything on time and i can play!!
Reserve Days for Physics and Chemistry workbooks
Monday onwards: Panic Mode for all leftover work still undone.
jeh
1:27 AM--
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
I wish I could say all the things that I should say
Say 'em loud, say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear
I wish I could share all the love that's in my heart
Remove all the bars that keep us apart
And I wish you could know how it feels to be me
Then you'd see and agree
That every man should be free
I wish I could be like a bird in the sky
How sweet it would be if I found I could fly
Well I'd soar to the sun and look down at the sea
And I'd sing 'cos I'd know how it feels to be free
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
And I wish I could say all the things that I wanna say
Say 'em loud, say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear
Say 'em loud, say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear
Say 'em loud, say 'em clear
For the whole
Wide world to hear
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to carry each other
Carry each other
Woah, woah, woah, woah
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
jeh